I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
