i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
