i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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