Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
