New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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