you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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