So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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