On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
