She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
