I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
