i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
