There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
