so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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