My underwear smells like fireworks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
