sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
