I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
