you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
