How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
