did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
