So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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