Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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