Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she peed on how many people?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
