she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
