I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
