last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
this hospital has no fireball
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
