U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
