whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
