We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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