You just made me feel so damn special
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
