Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
