Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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