bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
