And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
