The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
