He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
