when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
