You're so nebulous sometimes
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
