I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
