i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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