What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Someone came in the potted fern
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The power of my boobs compel you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
