Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
