whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just blew my weed a kiss
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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