apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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