Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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