She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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