I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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