he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
