Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
