when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
