Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
