Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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