If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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