i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
