New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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